Im bored. Fucking bored. I should have known that marcus will say he cant make it in the end. So much for being happy & excited.. _|_. Grr.. I wanna hate him, i wanna forget him, but no matter how hard i try, i really cant. I dont understand how he can do it so easily. Teach me will ya marcus? By knowing more guys? I doubt so.
Till today, marcus is still under 'Wo de baobei laogong' in my MSN list and i dont wish to take him out. Damn it. I really feel like crying now. Why cant he ever ever understand what he is putting me thru? NB! Is this a test god is putting us thru? Hais.. I read all our past msgs and i really miss all the old times. He said he will never leave me? hahs. FUCK THAT OK ! Im fucking degrading myself bcos of him. I really dont mind doing anything, giving him anything, just as long as it pleases him. I dont fucking understand why is it that we`re over but yet every fucking thing he does hurts me so fucking badly? I fucking miss him like shit and what about him? happily enjoying his life now.
Ytd when he called me, i practically flew to heaven and i was smiling so so widely. Why is it that he say that we can be friends but yet he doesnt have the fucking face to fucking see me? Why is it so fucking hard just to get my fucking jacket back bcos i dont want him to let the fucking bitch wear it? Why is it so fucking hard just to pass him smth ? The thing i bought for him may be fucking cheap but at least it has my sincerity. FUCK EVERYTHING ! I have NEVER been really happy since he fucking left me. The marcus i know didnt like to see me crying or hurt, but why is it that now he can happily inflict pains on me over & over again ? Sorry is all he can say, but can a fucking sorry take my fucking pain away? You told my crush that i can forget everything in 2-3 days, is that what you really think of my love for you? I told you many fucking times, my fucking love for you is more den how much you fucking love me, its just tht i dont fucking show it to you ! If you say you fucking love me more, why did you fucking do this to me? WHY WHY WHY WHY? Arghh ! Why is it that you say you dont love me anymore but yet you always wanna know who im out with, how i get to know him yada yada yada. WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE? Fuck it.
Sorry for all this fuck but i suddenly had an emotional burst which caused me to cry and i just need a space to let everything out. BYE BYE
Till today, marcus is still under 'Wo de baobei laogong' in my MSN list and i dont wish to take him out. Damn it. I really feel like crying now. Why cant he ever ever understand what he is putting me thru? NB! Is this a test god is putting us thru? Hais.. I read all our past msgs and i really miss all the old times. He said he will never leave me? hahs. FUCK THAT OK ! Im fucking degrading myself bcos of him. I really dont mind doing anything, giving him anything, just as long as it pleases him. I dont fucking understand why is it that we`re over but yet every fucking thing he does hurts me so fucking badly? I fucking miss him like shit and what about him? happily enjoying his life now.
Ytd when he called me, i practically flew to heaven and i was smiling so so widely. Why is it that he say that we can be friends but yet he doesnt have the fucking face to fucking see me? Why is it so fucking hard just to get my fucking jacket back bcos i dont want him to let the fucking bitch wear it? Why is it so fucking hard just to pass him smth ? The thing i bought for him may be fucking cheap but at least it has my sincerity. FUCK EVERYTHING ! I have NEVER been really happy since he fucking left me. The marcus i know didnt like to see me crying or hurt, but why is it that now he can happily inflict pains on me over & over again ? Sorry is all he can say, but can a fucking sorry take my fucking pain away? You told my crush that i can forget everything in 2-3 days, is that what you really think of my love for you? I told you many fucking times, my fucking love for you is more den how much you fucking love me, its just tht i dont fucking show it to you ! If you say you fucking love me more, why did you fucking do this to me? WHY WHY WHY WHY? Arghh ! Why is it that you say you dont love me anymore but yet you always wanna know who im out with, how i get to know him yada yada yada. WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE? Fuck it.
Sorry for all this fuck but i suddenly had an emotional burst which caused me to cry and i just need a space to let everything out. BYE BYE
posted by Samantha at
2:49 AM
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